May
12
2008

Understanding Phil. Press Secretary

The Philippine Press Secretary is articulate, well-educated, and highly intelligent. So how come so many people don’t know what the hell he’s talking about most of the time?

In order to understand him better, the following glossary is fabricated as a guide to what Filipinos think the secretary actually means. It is found that he can be understood better if you stand on your head and mumble the following chant” “I love you Gloria.” When you do that everything he says makes perfect sense.

  • Stop politicking = stop investigating the suspicious acts of my bosses and cronies
  • That’s just politicking = that’s moving awfully close to the truth
  • Let us move forward = and leave our crimes behind
  • That’s a lie = that’s the truth
  • That’s the truth = I’m lying
  • Yes = no
  • No = yes
  • I don’t know = I don’t know
  • I don’t know (alternative) = I DO know, but I’ll be damned if I’ll tell you
  • The country is in great shape = You like my joke? It always gets a good laugh
  • This government is legitimate = this government is legitimate
  • The justice secretary’s an idiot = the justice secretary’s an idiot
  • Wait, I didn’t say that! = wait I didn’t say that!
  • I am insane = wait, I didn’t say that either!
  • Or maybe I did = damn straight you did!
  • Do you think Ric Saludo’s after my job? = nah, he’s happy where he is
  • What about that Tiglao? = what about him? You got rid of him already
  • You know how long I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep? = Do you know you’re talking to yourself?

About the Author:

Praning5254 is an insomniac who started blogging since 2008. She is an educator and a Clinical Instructor offline, who has the passion for gadgets and other technology-related stuffs. Online, she maintains several blogs of various niches, which depicts her passion for technology, health, food, movies, books and other interesting stuffs.

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