May
3
2008

A Letter For My Dear Husband

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn’t get more than you did:


  • 5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
  • 36 times you did not come home at all
  • 21 times you didn’t cum
  • 33 times you came too soon
  • 19 times you went soft before you got in
  • 38 times you worked too late
  • 10 times you got cramps in your toes
  • 29 times you had to get up early to play golf
  • 2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
  • 4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
  • 3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
  • 2 times you had a splinter in your finger
  • 20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
  • 6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
  • 98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:

  • The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
  • I wasn’t talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, “Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?”
  • The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

About the Author:

Praning5254 is an insomniac who started blogging since 2008. She is an educator and a Clinical Instructor offline, who has the passion for gadgets and other technology-related stuffs. Online, she maintains several blogs of various niches, which depicts her passion for technology, health, food, movies, books and other interesting stuffs.

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